


Choke

by Twyd



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Ambiguous Slash, Angst, Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, Cats, Confusion, Delirium, Drowning, Hurricanes & Typhoons, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, M/M, Natural Disasters, Near Death Experiences, Organized Crime, Rescue, Revenge, Slash, Storms, Yakuza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-01-29 18:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12637137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twyd/pseuds/Twyd
Summary: In the aftermath of a typhoon, Izaya has a dangerous lapse of judgement.





	Choke

Izaya hums as he walks through the flooded streets, the water lapping over his ankles. Nothing like a little chaos now and then to shake things up. He splashes like a kid in a puddle, chuckling to himself.

He pauses mid-kick as something yowls a dimly lit alley. He winces at the sound, the distress of it. He looks around, as if someone else could come along and help, but the entire street had been evacuated. Izaya deliberates with himself. He does like cats. He sighs, and makes his way into the darkness.

The alleyway is like a pocket of ground: he can feel it sloping as he walks, the water lapping deeper over his legs. He hesitates, feeling his phone in his pocket near the water's edge, but keeps going as the cat mewls piteously. He has plenty of phones.

The water is up to his waist by the time he can see the cat. It is perched on top of a dumpster, hissing, back arched with distress. Izaya pulls his sleeves down to protect his hands as he approaches, making soothing noises. The cat eyes him with distrust, but makes no sign of attacking.

Izaya turns his face away as he draws the cat to his body, half expecting it to claw his eyes out, but, seeing him as the best chance of survival, it only digs its claws into his clothes and hangs on.

Izaya continues to murmur to it soothingly as he makes his way out of the alleyway. He almost overbalances, catching himself just in time as the cat hisses at him.

Once he gets back to shallow water, the cat doesn't bother waiting for him, diving to safety and scratching through his sleeve as it does so. He gives a little yelp of pain, as the cat bolts without looking back.

Izaya sighs, his sleeve growing warm with blood.

 _And people say I never do anything nice_.

He looks over his shoulder with morbid interest, unnerved by how the water looks like its rising. It's disorienting, how different everything looks flooded, the city a bleak dystopia.

 “Izaya?”

His head jerks back. It takes him a while to make out who is standing there in the darkness, watching him. Akabayashi. Izaya has no idea how long he’d been there. He is smiling.

“I thought it was you. What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question, Akabayashi,” he hedges vaguely. “I thought you left Ikebukuro.”

“I had some unfinished business with Shiki.”

Izaya hears rather than sees the man approach, the water lapping as he wades towards him. Like Izaya, he doesn't seem perturbed by the flood.

“Are you all right?” Akabayashi asks, once he's closer. He is looking at the blood on the fur of Izaya's cuffs.

“Fine.” He shrugs like it’s nothing. His guard is up. He's not afraid of Akabayashi, but he knows he and Shiki do not get on, and while it's a game he wouldn't mind orchestrating, it's not one he wants to be a part of. “I’d better be going.”

“Wait just a moment. I was hoping to find you.”

This is unnerving, but Izaya only smirks and gives an exaggerated shrug, gesturing to the city.

“Well, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“No. You wouldn’t.”

He looks at Izaya thoughtfully, before cupping his face and kissing him.

Izaya tries to step back, but the pressure of the water weighs his legs down, forcing him into nightmare-like slow motion. 

“What are you doing?” he says instead, as the other man’s hands come to rest around his waist. It’s not unpleasant, not really, it’s just…confusing.

The man keeps kissing him, pressing against his body. Despite himself, Izaya feels a little wave of desire as the other man bites his lip, at the promise of violence, the fact that they’re doing this with the city in chaos around them. He knows it’s probably just a way of manipulating him to get at Shiki, but Izaya can’t help himself: this is the first person to want him in a long, long time.

"Izaya," Akabayashi sighs, one hand curving around the informant’s face, thumbing his lips.

Izaya closes his eyes as Akabayashi kisses him again, imperceptibly soft.

The hand cupping his cheek hardens then and pushes him down, down under the water, pressing down his chest with his other hand to keep him there.

Izaya thrashes back against his hold, mouth already flooding with water before he'd had time to close it. He kicks harder as he panics, the water getting in his throat, unable to break the other man's grip, as he realises this isn’t a warning, that Akabayashi intends to hold him there until he dies. He tries to find his knife, but panic and pain blurs him as he starts to lose his strength.

Above him, Akabayashi holds on until he is still. The older man loosens his grip, hovering his hands over Izaya's still body, ready to shove him back under at the slightest twitch. He smiles when no movement comes.

Shaking off his wet sleeves, the other man straightens and leaves him there.

-

Shizuo’s not even halfway to Shinra’s and he’s soaked. Fucking short-cut. Why did he have such stupid ideas?

He feels absently for a cigarette, slowing unconsciously as he does. _Not like I can get anymore wet._ He’s concentrating on lighting up when he notices it, the bubbling on the dimmer side of the street. He pauses, lighter in hand. Probably just a pipe or something. Still. Something draws him to let the cigarette fall and investigate. He wades into deeper water, squinting in the dark. Goes to leave it when he sees fur, soaked and unmoving in the water. It could be a rat, and it was almost certainly dead, but he wades forward anyway, just in case.

Once close enough to see it is someone’s sleeve, he hauls the man out of the water and back to the road.

-

Someone else is kissing him again. A hand is on his chest, forcing air into his lungs.

Izaya shudders like it hurts him, the air flooding inside him almost as painfully as the water had. He coughs and coughs, trying to breathe, keeps thinking it will be vomit that comes up but it's just water, more and more water. A pair of arms hold him upright, and he instinctively tries to fight.

“It’s me, you idiot, it’s me.”

It is Shizuo’s voice.

Izaya stops thrashing, not because he trusts him but because his body doesn't have the energy to fight and dispel water at the same time. His eyes and throat burn, his body barely stopping to breathe as it rids itself of every last drop.

He slumps in exhaustion when he's done, hears himself groaning like an animal. It hurts to breathe. His clings to Shizuo's clothes with both hands, unable to speak.

“…it’s OK,” he hears Shizuo say after a moment. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Half deaf with the water, it takes Izaya a moment to process this.

Shizuo gets an arm under his legs and lifts him, carrying him away from the water. When Izaya opens his eyes, they are in the hallway of a half flooded building and Shizuo is wrestling something from the wall. A fire blanket. He wraps Izaya in this and sits on the floor with him, holding him close.

It still hurts to breathe. He feels and tastes the water inside himself, feels Shizuo holding him, but he strangely doesn't feel cold.

“Are you dead too?” he mumbles.

“You’re not dead, flea.”

He starts fishing in his pocket with one arm, keeping Izaya close with the other.

“Thank God. My phone survived.”

Izaya rests his against his chest, feeling the throb of his heart as he talks to Shinra. It sounds far away and other worldly, as if he were still under water. His head feels the way it did when he was a kid and held his breath for too long at bath time.

Now he's able to breathe, he tries to process what happened to him. The first person to show an interest in him in years, and it had only been to kill him. He should laugh, but his face is already wet so it doesn’t matter that he’s crying instead.

 “Shinra’s coming,” Shizuo says. “Fuck. You must be so cold.”

He’s not, but he doesn’t want Shizuo to let go of him, so he doesn’t say anything.

“What happened to you?” Shizuo says, some annoyance finally creeping into his tone, even as he keeps holding Izaya to his chest. “You felt like a fucking swim or what?”

Izaya keeps his face averted and doesn’t answer for a moment.

“I’m such an idiot.”

He feels Shizuo go to say something cutting, but seems to soften and think better of it.

“Well, at least you’re not a dead idiot.”

Izaya doesn't listen. Part of him still thinks he’s dead. Perhaps he’ll come back as a small animal as punishment, something with a harder life than a cat.

“You’re fine,” Shizuo tells him, as if reading his mind. “You’re so healthy, you never even missed a day of school. I bet you’ll come out of this without so much as a cold.”

Izaya thinks about this.

“Why’d you save me, Shizu-chan?”

“I saw the fur on your coat. Thought it was a cat or something.”

He laughs and laughs at the irony of this. It turns into a sob.

“Izaya.” Shizuo gives him a little squeeze. “You’re fine. You still got all your nine lives, OK? Just relax 'til Shinra gets here.”

He feels himself still fighting tears, unable to shake what that bastard had woken in him. He's lonely. And Shizuo of all people saved him and is holding him.

He cups Shizuo’s face and kisses him. And Shizuo lets him, although for a moment it feels like he's simply too surprised to move. He kisses him the way he had kept Izaya from collapsing, like he can't not help him.

“I-za-ya,” Shizuo says eventually, easing him back. “Come on. Shinra won’t like me taking advantage of you like this.”

Izaya laughs at this.

“Ah, you’re funny, Shizu-chan. I didn’t know you could be funny.”

“I have my moments."

Izaya smiles to himself.

“You’re being so sweet.”                                                                                                                                          

“Well. You almost drowned and coughed up half a lake. I make allowances.”

He nods against Shizuo's chest.

“I didn’t want to die," he murmurs.

“You’re not dead,” Shizuo says. He picks up Izaya’s hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Feel this? Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re numb. You’re fucking freezing.”

Izaya looks at their hands, his own pale and lifeless in Shizuo’s strong, tanned grip.

He closes his eyes and nuzzles Shizuo’s throat, who sighs and drops their hands.

“You’re a fucking nutcase, I swear.”

“You kissed me back.”

“Mmm.”

“I could be brain-damaged. What’s your excuse?”

“Shut up, flea.”

Blue lights flash over them from the road.

Shizuo stiffens, but they’re gone before he can move.

“Shit,” he says. “We should go back to the road and flag someone down. I don’t know what the hell’s taking them so long.”

“I’m fine here," Izaya mumbles.

“You need one of those foil blankets or something."

“Someone might see me.”

“Like who?” Shizuo sighs, exasperated, when Izaya doesn’t respond. “Stay awake,” he says, after a moment, giving Izaya shake when he goes quiet.

“Why,” he mumbles. If Shizuo is not going to kiss him anymore, he sees no point in staying awake.

“It’s what they say on TV when someone gets hurt. You have to keep them conscious.”

“You watch too much TV, Shizu-chan.”

“I’m serious.”

He does stay awake, though. No-one had held him like this in years.

“Where the hell are they again?” Shizuo growls, shifting his legs underneath Izaya. “I could have carried you there by now.”

As he speaks, the dull roar of a motorbike approaches in the distance.

“Finally.”

“I don’t want to,” Izaya mumbles, disoriented.

“That’s just tough,” he hears Shizuo growl, gathering him to his chest to pick him up. “I didn’t go through all that for nothing.”

-

He doesn’t remember getting to Shinra’s. He doesn’t even remember getting on the bike. He just knows he’s somehow been wrapped up warm in Shinra’s spare room, the light telling him its early evening. Breathing still hurts.

He gets up and catches sight of himself in the mirror, sees the bruise of what is clearly a handprint on his neck and jaw. No-one would have any misgivings about what happened then. He frowns and turns the mirror the other way.

Now he's awake, he can think clearly. A simple phone call to Shiki would get Akabayashi killed, and probably not nicely. Shiki does like him. That had probably been why Akabayashi did this in the first place.

But such a phone call would mean admitting his own weaknesses, his stupidity, and he doesn't know if he could face that.

He sits up in bed and listens. A soft glow from under the door tells him the television is on.

He leaves his room, prepared for Shinra, but instead it is Shizuo on the couch, alone, facing the TV. The silence of the apartment tells him Shinra and Celty are either asleep or out, probably helping more people in the flood.

"What are you doing here?" Izaya blurts.

Not the most courteous of greetings to someone who saved his life, but Shizuo just looks at him levelly.

"My building's flooded."

"Oh."

It occurs to him that Shinra has only one spare room.

"Did I steal your bed?"

"It doesn't matter. You need it more."

Izaya nods uneasily.

"Thank you."

He goes to the kitchen for a glass of water. The sight and taste of more water is almost unbearable, but he knows he needs it.

He's tempted to go back and hide in his room, but there's no point, not if Shizuo is staying here as well. He'll have to face him at some point.

Shizuo is watching the floods on the news and ignores Izaya completely. Izaya sits beside him, and they watch in companionable silence. He focuses on not fidgeting, on keeping his breathing normal, his movements neutral. He notices Shizuo has a glass of sake in one hand, wonders if it’s because of him or the flood, or if it’s just a habit. He wants to lie down, but he doesn't want to be alone. He tries to compromise by sort of half lying, half lounging diagonally, but Shizuo sees and moves to the floor, leaning back on the couch instead. He doesn’t seem too annoyed about it.

Izaya sighs with relief, stretching out like a cat.

“Thank you, Shizu-chan,” he says. It’s easier to say to the back of his head.

“It’s all right.”

He tries to sleep, but there’s something he has to say first, and he knows he needs to cough it up now or it’ll choke him.

“You kissed me back.”

Shizuo makes a noise between a groan and a growl. “Why are you saying it like it’s my fault?”

He doesn’t appear to have any more to say on the subject.

Izaya lets himself drift.

"Check it out." Shizuo says, a little later. He reaches round without looking and squeezes Izaya's ankle to get his attention. "It's your building."

Izaya opens his eyes fuzzily. Shinjuku hadn't been hit by the floods, so he doesn't understand.

A man is being arrested outside his building, an extremely familiar man. Izaya feels sick looking at him. The man had been caught attempting to break in.

Pathetic. How petty, how stupid. Izaya couldn’t believe he’d let the man touch him.

Shizuo turns the TV off while Izaya is still staring at it, and they are left with the dim glow of the lamp.

“Make up your mind, bed or couch?” Shizuo says tiredly. “’Cos I want one of them.”

“Bed,” he says reluctantly. “Thanks.”

-

He stays in his room most of the next day. He hears the three of them moving around and talking, and stays still so they won’t know he’s awake. His temporary contempt for Akabayashi had faded, leaving him depressed.

Shinra knocks on his door around lunchtime.

“We’re having noodles. Want some?”

“No thanks.”

“Come on. You can’t avoid him after he saved you. He’s going home tomorrow.”

“I’m not avoiding him,” he mumbles, not sure if he’s relieved or not that Shizuo’s leaving. He doesn’t want to think about it.

He goes back to sleep, and when he wakes the apartment is quiet again, the familiar glow of the TV under his door.

Shizuo raises his eyebrows when he sees him.

“You a vampire now?”

“Something like that.”

“Whatever. There’s some noodles left in the fridge.”

Izaya eats in the kitchen, coming back to life with every bite. He goes into the bathroom when he’s done for a long shower. His bruises haven’t faded, he notes in the mirror. Probably best for him to go back to his apartment where he could hide properly. Tomorrow, that is. He’ll leave when Shizuo leaves. That would make sense.

Other than the bruises, he feels fine. Even his breathing is a little easier. It looked like Shizuo had been right, and he would escape this without even a cold. Just a couple of bruises and a stab at his self-esteem.

“How’s your building?” he asks Shizuo when he emerges.

“Fine, more or less. It was the people on the ground floor that really got it.”

There is a blanket over the back of the couch that Shizuo is ignoring for some reason, so Izaya takes this and wraps it round himself, feeling sleepy all over again.

“Do you think I’m brain damaged?” he asks Shizuo. “I think I was under there for a while.”

Shizuo looks at him as if he’d asked if he thought he had cancer.

“What do you mean? Don’t you feel right? Tell Shinra.”

“I’ve talked to Shinra. I just…I don’t know.”

“I doubt you’re brain damaged,” he says. “It’s probably like a concussion, or something.”

Izaya nods. Part of him wants to bring up the kiss again, while Shizu-chan is in such a good mood, but it’s probably best to let it lie.

Shizuo is watching a movie that doesn’t interest him. He settles for a half nap instead, alert but not thinking.

He falls naturally against Shizuo’s side at one point, but the other man just growls in annoyance and doesn’t push him off. Izaya fights back a smirk, feeling almost like himself again.

Shizuo turns off the TV and gives him a shake.

“Are you sleeping here?” he demands. “I want to lie down. I don’t know why you don’t just stay in bed if you’re just going to- “

Izaya kisses him mid-sentence, holding the back of his head to keep him there.

“Izaya- “

“You kissed me back, Shizu-chan.”

“You’re - you’re not well, Izaya-kun.”

Izaya rolls his eyes. He’s no longer drenched or half out of his mind, and this is all that matters as far as he is concerned. Shizuo puts a hand on his chest when he tries again.

“I’m not saying no, I’m just saying…not now."

This hurts more than he expected.

"Please," he says.

"You're upset."

"I'm not."

He kisses Shizuo again – Shizuo isn’t really fighting him that hard – and tries to pull him into the spare room so they can fuck on the spare bed, going slow to keep it quiet.

“Izaya,” Shizuo says, ruining his little fantasy. “I think you might be brain-damaged.”

“Shut up, Shizu-chan. Now is not the time for your dull wits.”

“Man, you’re so charming. I bet you could get anyone you want into bed.”

This hurts a little, although he knows Shizuo is only teasing him, that it’s only an unconscious dig at his loneliness.

Then he says, “I’ll sleep in your bed if you want. But we’re not doing anything here. And not when you’re upset.”

Izaya just stares at him, confused. Shizuo pushes him off when he doesn’t answer.

“I’m going to take that as a yes. I’m tired.”

Bemused, Izaya follows him into the spare room and gets into bed beside him.

 “Wake me up if you change your mind,” he says, not caring how it sounds.

“What’s the rush,” Shizuo says sleepily. “Shinra puts up with a lot. I think us fucking on his spare bed would be the last straw.”

“I wasn’t planning on taking pictures for him.”

“He’ll know, though. You know he will.”

Shizuo has a point.

“So if we weren’t in Shinra’s apartment, you’d be up for it?”

Shizuo doesn’t say anything for a minute.

“If you just want to be close to someone for a while because you’ve had a hard time, I don’t think it should be me.”

“Why not?”

“Drop it, Izaya.”

“Fine,” he says, sensing he can only push so far. “Like you said. There’s no rush.”

Perhaps Shizuo is right. Perhaps he just needed to sleep.


End file.
